After presenting my first draft in class, I received a feedback from my classmates and teacher. I realized that my story should flow across DAT. It means Description, Action and Time. I decided to change completely my story. Sixteen months ago, this story happened to my family.
Sixteen months ago on February 16, 2017, this story happened to my family. My wife Joyce and I were at Mount Sinai hospital, New York , waiting for our son to be born. I crossed the street to by a tea two blocks away. My cell phone rang, but I missed it. When it rang a second time [ cell phone ring ]. II picked up. It was my wife. She was crying. “What's happening?” I said. There was no answers. She was crying. I could no more finished my tea. I could not finish my tea. I ran to Joyce’s room to see what was making her cry. When I arrived in her room, everybody was waiting for me. When I entered, my wife said:"The Doctor need your decision for C section In a following 30 minutes.” “They want to what?” I replied. I was so unfamiliar with a C-section and Joyce was so upset about the decision. In America C-sections are common; unfortunately they are uncommon in Chad. I could not tell you how determined Joyce had been to have your son “naturally.” Dr. Charley, a very pretty 55 year old woman,with blond hair and brown eyes was in the room(five feets square , white paint) with her team – Spoke to me face to face: “Temadji. Am I correct with your name?” Yes, I replied. Then Dr. Charley said, “we tried almost 24 hours to get your baby. Our record indicates that if we wait again one more hour, either you will lose your baby or your wife. We could wait longer only if you want to. But you will be responsible. We give you 15 minutes to decide" Woooooodrr... The door closed. I had a broken heart. I could no more talk to my wife because she never stop crying. It was a first difficult decision in my life. I came, stayed on beside her bed , And I said: " Everything’s gonna be ok. Give me a minute. I am going to inform your uncle" Clock! clock!. I looked at the clock. It was 3: 25 pm. Ten minutes left to decide. I walked near the window, and called her 52 year old uncle, who is a doctor in Chad. He witnessed our marriage. Hey brother in law I said, and talked in French: Nous sommes a l'hôpital, Joyce doit être operer. Quelle est ta position?(I explain him situation and ask him his point of view) He said: what ever you decide I am with you. It was Almost 3: 35 pm. Time was over to decide. I went back in the room. Door opening... Woooodr. A doctor's team enterred. Dr. Charley: What is your final decision? Temadji: Go ahead, I have no problem if this is an only solution. Charley: All right. The C section will begin at 3: 50pm. Hopefully, by 5: 00pm, we should be finished. Sam and Mike, she said; make sure that Joyce is ready for next ten 10 minutes. 3: 40 pm, they took my wife to the C section room. I was waiting in front? of the black door. Five minutes later, a young woman, brought me a nose mask, a pair of gloves and clothes and said: " I will be back to find you in five minutes. Make sure you are ready". I had no time to ask her name, I had no memory, how old she looked like. The only thing I remembered is (remembered was) her shoes. She wore a black boots like a cowboy in westerns film. What will happen? I asked myself. I had no idea. It was 3: 50pm, this young woman came and said: "Let's go. Everything is ready, she added". I could not asked her , what was ready. Because she ran after seconds. When we arrived, she opened the door, a black door, with no window. I saw many mechanic around. There was small table with a scale and weight. On the left of the room, I saw a big machinery that hided all body of my wife.Only her head out. I had never seen something like that in my entire life. I sad near my wife' head. I put my hand on her hair and said: Are you fine? She said : yes I am. I look a head, I could not see what they were doing, but only their bodies' languages. I understood that when the surgeon needed something, she used her hand. It was 4:30pm. I heard waouh!! Waouh!! He is so big, wonderful baby, they said. Waii waiii.....waiiii[ crying]. It was the first sign of the living thing. I realized at this moment that I am a father but did I had to enjoyed it? No. ,.No not yet . Because the C section is not over. They were still working. I got to hold Yoshera Ebenezer my baby. He was 3, 5 pounds. After 10 minutes, they put and identical number on the hand of baby, my wife’s hand and my hand. They took the baby for the nursery in another room. 5:00pm the C section was over. We went back to our room, waiting to move to a new room. But we could not leave the hospital before one week. In our life we always deal with some situations, the important thing is to handle carefully what you are going through and make sure you make a right decision.
1 Comment
10/8/2018 07:54:19 pm
Wow! Great improvement and corrections from your last piece! You're really using the material from class and applying it to your work! It looks and sounds great. I'm proud of the success you are coming about and your strong stories rock!
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